I’m Back – And I’m Fat

We are back from our incredible holiday.  I can’t even begin to tell you how much food I ate.  It was as though I was actively TRYING to put weight on.  And hey, guess the fuck what??  I did!  In fact, without even weighing myself, I reckon I’m back to where I started.  I hope to god that I am not MORE!!!  Anyway, tomorrow is weigh day, and it’s also “get the hell back on the horse” day.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Yes, this about sums up how violently I came off the diet horse. Now I’ve got to try and catch up with the crazy thing and jump back on. I have a feeling it’s not going to be easy. I expect no sympathy.

DON’T EXPECT TOO MANY NEW POSTS FROM ME IN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS AS I WILL BE IN SCANDINAVIA STUFFING MY FACE FULL OF NORDIC CUISINE, AND NOT REALLY WATCHING WHAT I EAT OR DRINK IN THE LEAST

What?  Didn’t you read the heading?  Take a load off.  I’ll be back soon.

If you can guess where we’re going by this picture, I’ll be very impressed.

 

Food Journal – 11th June 2013

BREAKFAST:  Nothing!  I was gorging on sleep.  Well, I wasn’t really.  I only got three hours.  So really, I’m rather starved, of food and sleep.

MORNING SNACK:  Still sleeping!

LUNCH:  Oatmeal bitches!!!  With apple, 10 walnuts and yoghurt.  No banana for me today.  Lemon tea, two espressos and vitamins.

Lunch was great. Really filling actually. CACTAC’s a lot lighter.

 

AFTERNOON SNACK:  Not the regular.  Everything is ass about as we are off on our trip tomorrow and didn’t want any left over fruit and veg in the house.  So we split an apple and a cucumber.  I also had a cracker spread thinly with tomato conserve and a lemon tea.  Oh, we also had our second coffees of the day.  NOT ENOUGH COFFEE!!  But I’m too busy running around the house like a whirling dervish packing.  I don’t like not having time to pack, but we are both working night shift tonight and need to leave as soon as we get home (and even that’s cutting it tight).  So all the packing needs to be done before we go to work, which I hate.  Oh well.  I’d better get back to it.

DINNER:  Lemon grass chicken.  I made it with broccoli instead of green beans today coz the broccoli looked good and I like to mix it up like that.  Keep you kids on your toes!  Here’s the original recipe – just substitute broccoli for beans.  Or anything else you damn please!  Here’s the recipe for you to mess around with.

Lovely. I free-poured the fish sauce and think I added a little bit too much. It didn’t detract from the deliciousness, but next time I’ll be a little more careful.

 

DESSERT:  1/3 apple.

NIGHT SHIFT SNACK:  1/3 apple and a wholewheat cracker.  I was working different hours tonight (10pm-11.30pm and then again from 2am-4am).  I had it at 3am.

NUT COUNT:  10 walnuts.

Jennifer Aniston

People say that Jennifer Aniston used to have a fat ass – but if she did, I can’t find any evidence of it.  I’ve seen some shots of her with a bit of puppy fat around her face, but that’s about it.  She grew out of it!  She’s been nothing less than toned, honey-limbed perfection ever since so (even though she works hard with yoga and running and whatnot) she slots into the Women Who Are Born That Way category.

Jennifer did this shoot not that long after Brad Pitt left her for Angelina Jolie. I think it has to have given him a little pause for thought, no??

 

She looks so tiny in this great shot from a magazine shoot. Really small waist and hips. Not something that I could ever attain, being 5’10” but the proportions are what I’m after.

 

There’s something about a toned inner thigh that just makes me SO jealous. My thighs are….. well, let’s just say they are not toned. But they will be!!!

 

She looks so amazing in this super tight white dress. Her figure is just remarkable. Compact, lithe, smooth. Justin Theroux is a lucky man indeed.

 

The ultimate jeans and t-shirt girl. My dream is to look this good in tight jeans and a leather jacket.

 

When I first saw this photo I was like, “That’s not Jennifer Aniston”. First of all, her face looks different, but more than that, I’ve never seen her so provocatively dressed. She is steaming up the room. Check out those glorious curves. Mamma mia!!!!

 

Leggy, sexy, tight, yoga-toned perfection.

Food Journal – 10th June 2013

BREAKFAST:  So, today I didn’t have enough blueberries for both of us so I did the chivalrous thing and gave them to my husband (since he doesn’t have apple in his oatmeal).  So, my oatmeal had 10 walnuts, 1/3 chopped apple and 1/2 banana with some yoghurt and a teaspoon of coconut oil (and a small pinch of salt).  It was LOVELY!  I also had the regular lemon tea, two espressos and vitamins.

We ran out of blueberries today, so in my generosity I let my husband have them all and we split a banana as well. I still had my apple and walnuts though. The warmth of the oatmeal makes the bananas all nice and soft and gooey. Yummo!

 

Here’s my oatmeal. I can’t tell you enough how much I enjoy eating this for breakfast. In fact, since we are both working night shifts tonight and will wake up later tomorrow we are having it for lunch. How about that!

 

MORNING SNACK:  Lemon tea and another espresso.  Oatmeal is SO good for staving off hunger for a few hours.

LUNCH:  CACTAC without the T.  So really, CACAC.  We ran out of tomatoes, oops!  It’s really not the same without them, but what are you gonna do?  It was interesting to note that the flavours of the cheese and avocado complemented each other in ways that were obviously changed by the presence of tomato.  I’m not saying it was better, or worse.  Just different.  My last espresso for the day.  When I work night shift (as I am tonight) it’s so difficult to figure out when to stop drinking coffee.  I work in a facility where, even though I am rostered to be there, I am not necessarily rostered to be on duty (and that gives me the opportunity to grab some winks in the sleep rooms).  So, sometimes it’s OK to keep drinking coffee quite late in the day if I am working first.  But if I have a rest first, I need to stop drinking coffee sooner, so that I have a fighting chance of actually dozing off during that nap time. It’s complicated.  You wouldn’t understand.

CACTAC minus the T.

 

AFTERNOON SNACK:  Guacamole spread on a rice cracker thin.  Also 10 almonds, and another lemon tea.

My guac on rice cracker and almonds on the side.

 

DINNER:  A bit of an indulgence today!  We felt a little naughty at the organic store and bought some organic pork and leek sausages.  Now, these are not diet food, in any way, shape or form.  But c’mon, we’re not robots!  And we’ve both been so good for so long.  And it’s not like we ordered two large pizzas each or anything crazy like that.  And they’re organic!!!  And they have leek in them!  Do I sound like I’m trying to justify this?  Of course I am, get off my back will you!!!

Our naughty (but so fucking worth the extra calories) dinner of pork and leek sausages. With the ubiquitous spinach salad.

 

DESSERT: 1/3 apple.

NIGHT SHIFT SNACK:  1/3 apple and one wholewheat cracker.  I was at work from 10pm-6am and on tonight’s shift I was on duty from 11.30pm-2.00am and again from 4.30am-6am so it’s difficult to know when to eat my snack.  I prefer to eat it early so I had it at 1.00am.  Of course when I got up for the 4.30am final stretch I was starving (as well as exhausted – which is why I HAD to have two espressos to wake up – not ideal as I need to go to bed for real in a couple of hours but I also have to stay awake long enough to get there seeing as I have to drive 60km from work to home). 

NUT COUNT:  10 almonds, 10 walnuts.

Food Journal – 9th June 2013

BREAKFAST:  Oatmeal with the regular accoutrements – apple, blueberries and walnuts (almonds for my husband) and yoghurt on top.  Two coffees and a lemon tea.  Vitamins.  I can’t decide if I should bother taking my vitamins with me on our holiday (in three more sleeps – woot!).  I’ve taken them before and they’ve just sat there in my suitcase gathering dust.  Living out of a suitcase really messes with all my routines (in the nicest possible way), so I’ve come to realise there is no point in trying to stick to my programmes.  Everything goes out the window, so I will probably just admit to myself (and you) that I won’t take my vitamins with me on vacation.  I can live with that.

I decided to show you what my breakfast looks like after I mash everything together – see, it’s not all perfection at all. It looks like gruel in fact. But it tastes great, and that’s really all I care about.

 

MORNING SNACK:  Lemon tea and an espresso.  1/3 apple and 10 almonds.

LUNCH:  Work CACTAC.  Espresso.  We recently pitched in at work and bought a Nespresso machine which is great for me.  It makes it easier to resist the temptation to go downstairs to the cafeteria and order a milky cappuccino or flat white or latte or whatever.

CACTAC all packed up for work. Yes, I use a lot of cling wrap. No, I don’t care. How awful!!!

 

AFTERNOON SNACK:  Guacamole spread on a Ryvita biscuit.  Lemon tea.

DINNER:  Same as last night: rocket salad with smoked kippers from a can.  I feel for my colleagues coz this stuff really stinks!  Luckily I’m working alongside a very tolerant individual tonight.

My smelly fish and rocket salad. Again, I don’t care!

 

DESSERT:  1/3 apple.

NUT COUNT:  10 walnuts, 10 almonds.

Food Journal – 8th June 2013

BREAKFAST:  Afternoon shift so plenty of time to whip up (metaphorically, not literally – it takes about 20 minutes) an oatmeal with apple, blueberries, walnuts and yoghurt.  Lemon tea and espresso.  Vitamins.  It’s funny, yesterday my husband asked me if I missed our oatmeal breakfast (we had two morning shifts in a row and had to have yoghurt instead).   And you know what?  I was missing it.  It’s a lovely breakfast!

My lovely oatmeal breakfast. I could probably eat this for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. But I probably won’t. I don’t want to ruin it like that.

 

MORNING SNACK:  1/3 apple and a rice cake (spread with a very thin layer of tomato conserve).  Lemon tea.  Two espressos.

LUNCH:  CACTAC at work.  Not ideal as I don’t start work until after 2pm, so it’s late.  Luckily I can eat while I work.  I also had another espresso.  I guess that’s four for the day, and even though I haven’t set myself a limit, I reckon four’s a pretty good number of espressos.

AFTERNOON SNACK:  Guacamole on Ryvita.  Lemon tea.

DINNER:  So, it’s just my regular work dinner.  Smoked kippers out of a can (John West is best) with some salad.  Today the salad was rocket.  Mmmm!  I dress it all with a squiz of lemon, a drizzle of olive oil, salt, white pepper and a bit of chilli powder.  I used to put in the garlic powder that we use when my husband and I cook together – but I stopped doing that when he started making faces when we kissed!!  LOL!  So, to add interest, instead of the garlic powder I use a bit of chilli.  I like things nice and hot. My husband usually grabs a bit to eat at work – he’s lucky that there are 24 hour food outlets where he works.  I have nothing of the sort, so I need to bring my own. And that’s probably best because you know how I get around fast food!

Yeah, I know.  It looks like rocket and catfood salad. I promise you, it’s very tasty!

 

DESSERT: 1/3 apple.

NUT COUNT: 10 walnuts.

Food Journal – 7th June 2013

BREAKFAST:  Started the day with a lemon tea and an espresso.  Then I went to work and had breakfast a couple of hours later – just the usual work brekky of yoghurt, 15 blueberries, 10 almonds and 1/3 chopped apple.

MORNING SNACK:  I made a lemon tea at work and had my Ryvita with guacamole.  Also, another espresso.

LUNCH:  Work CACTAC.  Plus another espresso.  Trust me, when you’ve got out of bed at 3.45am two days in a row for work, you need the caffeine to get you through the day.

AFTERNOON SNACK:  1/3 apple and 15 blueberries and 10 walnuts.  Mixing it up!!!  Woot, how adventurous of me!!

Delicious and healthy snack.

 

DINNER:  We tried a new recipe today.  Tandoori salmon.  Mmmm.  Now, quite obviously, it’s not REAL tandoori salmon as I am not in possession of a tandoor oven.  But, it’s more about the flavour, I think.  And of course there was green salad involved!  What were you expecting?  You might notice that I’ve been making a few things that use turmeric in them, and the reason is that turmeric is supposedly one of the greatest possible ingredients in the fight against inflammation.  I like the taste, but I must admit, I hate the way it turns everything yellow.  Oh well, small price to pay and I don’t cook with it THAT often.  Just often enough to mention it.  Here’s the recipe if you want your tastebuds to thank you!!!  We had a bottle of wine with dinner tonight – I can’t remember if I said I wasn’t going to drink.  If I did, I’m a very bad girl and you must punish me immediately (or bring it to my attention and make me feel suitably like shit).  It was a very nice New Zealand Pinot Gris.

This was a great wine to have with the salmon. Delicate enough to complement the more fragrant elements of the sauce/marinade, but robust enough to stand up to the spiciness and heat in the dish. Highly recommended.

 

 

DESSERT:  1/3 apple

NUT COUNT:  10 almonds, 10 walnuts.

Tandoori Salmon

This was delicious – but next time I’ll be cooking it in the oven. I think baking would be more suited to the fish. The marinade was OUT OF THIS WORLD in flavour. I will definitely cook this again.

 

INGREDIENTS:

2 salmon fillets

1/2 cup no-fat plain yoghurt

1 tablespoon chopped coriander

1 tablespoon lemon juice

4 garlic cloves, minced

1 knob ginger, minced

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon paprika

1/2 teaspoon turmeric

salt and white pepper

 

METHOD:  

1.  Mix all the ingredients (except salmon) together in a bowl.

2.  Pour over salmon and refrigerate for a few hours.  I only had time for three and a half hours but you could even marinate it overnight.

3.  Remove salmon from marinade (wiping away excess, and reserving).

4.  Heat non-stick frying pan to medium-high heat with just a drizzle of olive oil.

5.  Place salmon, skin up, in frying pan and cook for five minutes.  Turn, and baste with remaining marinade.

6.  Cook until fish is done to your liking – we like it quite rare.

7.  Serve with green salad.

8. Enjoy!

Food Journal – 6th June 2013

BREAKFAST:  Up at 3.45am to get to work for a morning shift.  Certainly there is no breakfast eating going on before my shift so I prepared brekky (and snacky, and lunchy) the night before and had them at work.  Yoghurt, 10 almonds, 15 blueberries and some chopped apple.  I did manage to have a lemon tea and an espresso before I left.

Breakfast to go.

 

MORNING SNACK:  Rice cracker thin spread with guacamole plus ten almonds.  I also had my vitamins with my morning snack today.  That’s just the way it worked out.  Lemon tea and espresso.

LUNCH:  CACTAC!  And an espresso.

AFTERNOON SNACK:  As you know, I normally have my guacamole on a cracker for afternoon snack (and that is my preference), however I had it for morning snack today (working a morning shift just sends everything out of whack, unfortunately). So I had 1/3 apple and a small wholewheat cracker.  And a lemon tea and my final espresso for the day (that’s four, and I’m happy with that number).

Coffee, glorious coffee!

 

DINNER:  Leftover mushroom and leek frittata with spinach salad.  YUM!

This frittata is almost more delicious the next day. We had it with a squeeze of lemon juice to add even more interest.

 

DESSERT:  1/3 apple.

NUT COUNT:  20 almonds